Do Deaths Come In Threes? Appalachian Folkways?

All my life in Appalachia, I have heard people, especially older people discuss the folk belief or old wive's tale that deaths always come in threes.  This past week or so I have had some reason to wonder about it again.  My wife, who spent the first 23 years or her life in East Central Wisconsin about half way between Milwaukee and Green Bay but has lived for the last 28 years in Appalachia, also recently brought it up to me because we had both been thinking about it in relation to the recent deaths of three people to whom we had some minor connections.  But none of these people knew each other so far as we know although it is possible they could have.  The first of these deaths was the death in Wayland, Kentucky, of the 38 year old son of a female friend of mine whom I have known since about 1968. He died on March 9, 2021, which was coincidentally the 51st anniversary of the death of my own mother.  I admit that I have never met her son because she and I fell out of touch many years ago and just reunited on Facebook a year or two ago.  The second death was the death of a 57 year old woman in Prestonsburg, Kentucky, who is the sister-in-law of a female cousin of mine with whom I grew up and with whom I am still close. She died on March 8, 2021, one day before the son of my long time friend.  This woman was married to the younger brother of my cousin's husband and although I had never met her and her husband, we regularly travel to our cousin's house which is literally on the old property of the parents of my cousin's husband's extended family and three of those siblings have built homes there.  I have heard her name many times along with her husband's but I repeat I did not know her.  The third death was much closer to us since it was the death, at age 68, two days ago of one of the two sisters from whom we bought our house and we have known her 28 years or so since early December of 1992. She died on March 11, 2021, within four days of the first death and three days of the second in this group of three. She and I had spoken on the telephone for about fifteen minutes about two months ago when her husband had been hospitalized for a major heart attack.  She and her sister, along with their husbands, have been our closest neighbors since December of 1992.  But over the last few years, out face to face contacts have decreased somewhat and we generally interact now more often at times of crisis, in either major or minor ways, such as this event.

 

Although I cannot say I really knew two of these people, I know their families quite well and communicated with all of them in response to the deaths of their loved ones.  My long time friend in Wayland and I communicate regularly on Facebook and share a large list of common friends, some of whom I advised of the death of her son.  She and I communicated by message within hours of his death.  I did not attend the son's visitation or funeral because of Covid 19 dangers.  When the sister-in-law of my cousin died and I learned of it because of searching online obituaries for the obituary of my friend's son, I called my female cousin's brother, to whom I am closer, and asked him if it was true that his sister's sister-in-law had died.  He immediately called other family members, verified the story, and called me back.  When I learned of my neighbor's death through another elderly neighbor on whose property she will be buried beside members of both their families, I called her sister and son and offered my condolences and discussed plans for the funeral.  I will not attend that visitation or funeral either but will probably time it so I can be present, a mile from my house, for the graveside service, once gain due to Covid 19 concerns.  

 

Admittedly, this is not three of my closest friends or family members, but my wife and I have some connection to all three deaths.  So,  the question naturally arose in our minds, "do deaths come in threes" as the common folk belief in Appalachia suggests.  This blog post suggests that deaths in threes is simply due to the fact that celebrities often seem to die in groups and the author apparently had never heard the idea in a manner which indicated that it is and has nearly always been expressed in folk beliefs in many areas of the world.  This second internet post suggests that For most people it is because they have heard the superstition, or been taught it. Much like any superstition, they get handed down generation upon generation with little or no thought.  This second internet post comes closer to the likely truth by referring to the idea of deaths coming in threes as being "a superstition" but does not make the connection to folk ways, folk beliefs, or old wive's tales.  This next link comes a bit closer to what I believe to be the truth when it says This is a cultural question rather than a historical one...In essence your question is related to a widespread European belief that all sorts of things happen in threes - which does not apply when dealing with cultures that see things that happen in fours or with other possibilities. But this writer has raised the possibility that other cultures believe that things might happen in fours.  For me, it seems more likely that some other cultures, far from Appalachia, might believe that deaths, or other bad circumstances, happen in fives which happens to be the number of fingers on a hand or toes on a foot. Folk ways and folk beliefs are often tied to some natural occurrence such at that.  But, no matter the number a culture believes, it is my opinion that the belief is culturally based and rooted in cultural history not celebrity status as my first quoted blog post would suggest.  I suspect that writer was simply not well educated about any culture and more focused on mass media as their personal influence source.  When we do an internet search using the phrase "Appalachian belief deaths come in threes" we find this more accurate link from Dave Tabler, a more credible source, at least in Appalachia, who simply states Death comes in threes in a congregation.  From a purely Appalachian point of view, I would say this is the most accurate discussion of the belief about deaths coming in threes at the blog "Blind Pig And The Acorn".  Death comes in 3s (This one is still alive and well in southern Appalachia and I believe it myself.)  Personally, I am not as certain about it as the author of the Blind Pig And The Acorn blog, but I do not firmly rule out that possibility.  I will examine the burials in three cemeteries on Find A Grave in the next few days for evidence of this belief and pass on what I learn as an addendum to this blog post.  But my whole point in writing this blog post was to ask you, my readers, what do you believe about deaths coming in threes?