Do Deaths Come In Threes? Appalachian Folkways?

All my life in Appalachia, I have heard people, especially older people discuss the folk belief or old wive's tale that deaths always come in threes.  This past week or so I have had some reason to wonder about it again.  My wife, who spent the first 23 years or her life in East Central Wisconsin about half way between Milwaukee and Green Bay but has lived for the last 28 years in Appalachia, also recently brought it up to me because we had both been thinking about it in relation to the recent deaths of three people to whom we had some minor connections.  But none of these people knew each other so far as we know although it is possible they could have.  The first of these deaths was the death in Wayland, Kentucky, of the 38 year old son of a female friend of mine whom I have known since about 1968. He died on March 9, 2021, which was coincidentally the 51st anniversary of the death of my own mother.  I admit that I have never met her son because she and I fell out of touch many years ago and just reunited on Facebook a year or two ago.  The second death was the death of a 57 year old woman in Prestonsburg, Kentucky, who is the sister-in-law of a female cousin of mine with whom I grew up and with whom I am still close. She died on March 8, 2021, one day before the son of my long time friend.  This woman was married to the younger brother of my cousin's husband and although I had never met her and her husband, we regularly travel to our cousin's house which is literally on the old property of the parents of my cousin's husband's extended family and three of those siblings have built homes there.  I have heard her name many times along with her husband's but I repeat I did not know her.  The third death was much closer to us since it was the death, at age 68, two days ago of one of the two sisters from whom we bought our house and we have known her 28 years or so since early December of 1992. She died on March 11, 2021, within four days of the first death and three days of the second in this group of three. She and I had spoken on the telephone for about fifteen minutes about two months ago when her husband had been hospitalized for a major heart attack.  She and her sister, along with their husbands, have been our closest neighbors since December of 1992.  But over the last few years, out face to face contacts have decreased somewhat and we generally interact now more often at times of crisis, in either major or minor ways, such as this event.

 

Although I cannot say I really knew two of these people, I know their families quite well and communicated with all of them in response to the deaths of their loved ones.  My long time friend in Wayland and I communicate regularly on Facebook and share a large list of common friends, some of whom I advised of the death of her son.  She and I communicated by message within hours of his death.  I did not attend the son's visitation or funeral because of Covid 19 dangers.  When the sister-in-law of my cousin died and I learned of it because of searching online obituaries for the obituary of my friend's son, I called my female cousin's brother, to whom I am closer, and asked him if it was true that his sister's sister-in-law had died.  He immediately called other family members, verified the story, and called me back.  When I learned of my neighbor's death through another elderly neighbor on whose property she will be buried beside members of both their families, I called her sister and son and offered my condolences and discussed plans for the funeral.  I will not attend that visitation or funeral either but will probably time it so I can be present, a mile from my house, for the graveside service, once gain due to Covid 19 concerns.  

 

Admittedly, this is not three of my closest friends or family members, but my wife and I have some connection to all three deaths.  So,  the question naturally arose in our minds, "do deaths come in threes" as the common folk belief in Appalachia suggests.  This blog post suggests that deaths in threes is simply due to the fact that celebrities often seem to die in groups and the author apparently had never heard the idea in a manner which indicated that it is and has nearly always been expressed in folk beliefs in many areas of the world.  This second internet post suggests that For most people it is because they have heard the superstition, or been taught it. Much like any superstition, they get handed down generation upon generation with little or no thought.  This second internet post comes closer to the likely truth by referring to the idea of deaths coming in threes as being "a superstition" but does not make the connection to folk ways, folk beliefs, or old wive's tales.  This next link comes a bit closer to what I believe to be the truth when it says This is a cultural question rather than a historical one...In essence your question is related to a widespread European belief that all sorts of things happen in threes - which does not apply when dealing with cultures that see things that happen in fours or with other possibilities. But this writer has raised the possibility that other cultures believe that things might happen in fours.  For me, it seems more likely that some other cultures, far from Appalachia, might believe that deaths, or other bad circumstances, happen in fives which happens to be the number of fingers on a hand or toes on a foot. Folk ways and folk beliefs are often tied to some natural occurrence such at that.  But, no matter the number a culture believes, it is my opinion that the belief is culturally based and rooted in cultural history not celebrity status as my first quoted blog post would suggest.  I suspect that writer was simply not well educated about any culture and more focused on mass media as their personal influence source.  When we do an internet search using the phrase "Appalachian belief deaths come in threes" we find this more accurate link from Dave Tabler, a more credible source, at least in Appalachia, who simply states Death comes in threes in a congregation.  From a purely Appalachian point of view, I would say this is the most accurate discussion of the belief about deaths coming in threes at the blog "Blind Pig And The Acorn".  Death comes in 3s (This one is still alive and well in southern Appalachia and I believe it myself.)  Personally, I am not as certain about it as the author of the Blind Pig And The Acorn blog, but I do not firmly rule out that possibility.  I will examine the burials in three cemeteries on Find A Grave in the next few days for evidence of this belief and pass on what I learn as an addendum to this blog post.  But my whole point in writing this blog post was to ask you, my readers, what do you believe about deaths coming in threes?  

Clabe Mosley, Old Regular Baptist Preacher, Feb 1857-- May 1959

Clabe Mosley's Homemade Tombstone--Photo by Jim Spencer on Find A Grave

Although I was only eight years old when Clabe Mosley died in Knott County Kentucky, I will always remember the hundreds of stories I heard about him and his life as an Old Regular Baptist Preacher in the New Salem Association of Old Regular Baptists.  For most of the last years of his life, he lived in a small house behind the home of one of his relatives at Topmost on Right Beaver Creek.  But for many years before he died his handmade wooden keyhole casket and the cotton batting with which it was to be lined hung from the joists in the attic of my maternal grandfather, Woots Hicks, at Dema just below the Turner Cemetery where Clabe was eventually buried.  As I remember the story, at some point after he was past seventy or so, Clabe decided to prepare for his imminent death although he would live roughly thirty years longer.  But based on common life spans of the time, he decided it was time for him to put his affairs in order.  He was either friends with or related to the people who owned the house which my grandfather would later buy and live in until his own death. It is possible that those owners were Preston and Rachel Terry, who coincidentally were the paternal grandparents of five of my cousins which means that at different times all four of their grandparents lived in and owned the same house. So Clabe went to the best known local coffin maker and requested to have his coffin made in the older keyhole fashion.  By keyhole, we mean that the widest point of the coffin was roughly where the shoulders of the deceased would be located.  From that point, the sides of the coffin tapered in both directions toward the head and feet. These are a common type of coffin you still see sometimes in old western movies.  They were going out of favor by the time Clabe died but they were still in limited use at the time he chose to have his made.  So the story goes, when the coffin maker finished the job and sent word to Clabe that the coffin was complete, Clabe got someone to take him, since he never drove, and went to pay for and pick up the coffin.  I was always told that Clabe inspected the coffin in whatever building the maker had used as his wood working shop and said, "Well, it looks pretty good to me.  But I reckon I better check it out."  So he took off his shoes, climbed into the coffin, crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and after a short while said, "Yep, I reckon that's about right."  and payed the maker and had the coffin hauled to the house which my grandfather would eventually own where it was hung in the attic along with some cotton batting with which to line it.

Sometime after the coffin was placed there, the first owner of the house either died or decided to sell it and my grandfather bought it.  Since he also attended the Old Regular Baptist Church and knew Clabe well, my grandfather never asked Clabe to take the coffin elsewhere.   Eventually, Clabe did decide to move the coffin to the home of a family member but it hung in my grandfather's house quite a few years after he bought the home.  Fourteen of us first cousins grew up on Right Beaver Creek within five miles of our grandparents home and I grew up literally next door. Five more of those cousins lived within sight of our grandparents.  All of us grandchildren would frequently spend time at the house for family events or simple visits.  During all that time, I do not remember that any of our female cousins would ever go upstairs since the attic was entered via a small crawl door from the single finished room of the attic.  Most of the six male cousins, in a show of bravado, would still go upstairs despite whatever fears we were trying to hide.  

When Clabe died at the age of 102, he was buried in the Turner Cemetery which is located on the ridge right above the location of the no longer extant house in which the coffin hung.  He had also left explicit instructions about his tombstone which is pictured above.  As I recall, he told one of his sons, Crawford Mosley, to build it by constructing a wooden form in the shape seen above and to carve the elaborate epitaph into the rapidly drying concrete.  The rectangular depression seen in the tombstone above originally held a photo of Clabe Mosley which was covered with a piece of cut glass.  But, because it was not properly sealed, the photo did not last long and the glass was eventually broken by vandals and lost.  But the entire inscription reads: "B. Feb. 3 1857  D. May 1, 1959  Joined Caney F. C. (Caney Fork Church) 1884 of Reg. Baptist Was Ordained To Preach70 Year Ago And Have Preached Or Tried To Preach The Gospel".  I have known many people who have literally marveled at that inscription, the homemade tombstone, and the entire story of Clabe Mosley.  When he had Crawford Mosley inscribe the words "preached or have tried to preach the gospel", Clabe was taking what was a common position during his lifetime in the Old Regular Baptist Church that all men are imperfect and anyone can make a mistake.  I doubt that this position is quite that common today.  Clabe was also well known for being rather long winded at times in his sermons and is said to have preached for two or three hours on his last birthday.  The Old Regular Baptists frequently engaged in the practice of "singing down" a long winded preacher but I do not recall ever hearing that Clabe was "sung down".  For those of you who do not know that expression it means that when a preacher was considered to be preaching too long other preachers, deacons, or church members would begin a song in their typical lined out hymnody and sing until the preacher in question got the point and quit preaching.

In a rapid Internet search of the name "Clabe Mosley", I was able to find two significant pieces online about him.  One is an article in the Louisville Courier Journal of May 8, 1955, almost exactly 4 years prior to his death.  The article is entitled "70 Years In The Pulpit".  But since I am too stingy to pay for articles from newspaper morgues, I have to admit that I have not read it.  The other article is from the Kentucky Explorer website and can be found in its entirety at this link.  It is written by James G. Hall and contains several interesting anecdotes as well.  James G. Hall states that Clabe served for a lengthy period as moderator of the Caney Fork Church.  I have also seen his name in several of the annual Minutes which each Old Regular Baptist Association publishes once a year.  He is usually listed as having been a delegate to the Association meeting which published that particular edition of the Minutes.  Hall also states that he was amazed at the physical condition that Clabe maintained until much later than most people did in the early twentieth century. He also mentions that Clabe was well known for refusing to eat meat which had been bought at a store since it might have come from animals which were dead before they were butchered or otherwise unclean or unhealthy.  It is possible that such unique eating habits might have contributed to his long life at a time when almost no one refrained from eating anything which was available. Due to copy right restrictions, I will refrain from printing any long selections from the Kentucky Explorer website story.  But you can rest assured that it is well worth reading also.  Go to the link and scroll down until you find the title "Uncle Clabe".  I will also attempt to add some information in the near future from the Courier Journal story.  Clabe Mosley was one of the most interesting humans I can remember hearing about and remotely knowing in my childhood.  He is literally a legend among the Old Regular Baptist Church and all the residents of Beaver Creek and Knott County Kentucky.