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Saturday, April 13, 2024

University of Kentucky Basketball Hiring Process (Satire)

 May be an image of 14 people, people playing basketball and text that says 'KENTUCK 24 ENTUC 30 CENTÜCKY LENTUCK 15 CENTUCH 27 ENTUCH 254 KENTUCO 13 13 KENTUCKY 5 ENTUCA 12 AENTUCK 26 ΕΝTИCή ENTUCE 18'

 

A local bootlegger who shall remain nameless has just told me that he has it on good authority, presumably the wholesaler from whom he purchases his products, that the Kentucky Bourbon Distillers Association had made an enticing offer to Mitch Barnhart and the UK Athletic Department regarding whom they should hire for their head coach vacancy. According to my source, the association had offered to provide $10Million a year in salary, $10Million a year in NIL money with related advertising jobs featuring UK players, and an unlimited annual supply of various of their libations if the university would hire either former West Virginia coach Bob Huggins or former Kentucky coach Billy Gillespie under a 5 year no fire contract. My source said that his source, apparently an official of the association, had also told him that the idea for this intriguing offer had come to him when he was visited in a dream by the ghost of former Kentucky coach Eddie Sutton who had detailed the plan in detail over cocktails in the dream which took place in the Saratoga.

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