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Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Fantasies Of A Trump Cult Member!

 

I'm a Trump voter and I'm proud of that!

I go everywhere in my Maga hat.

I bought it from a man on the side of the road.

He must have had a whole car load.

He had them Trump flags four feet long,

Almost as big as Arnold Palmer's dong.

I wanted to buy one but couldn't right then.

I was outta money,  My welfare check hadn't come in.

I stood and looked at them big flags, 

Wished I had enough nerve to rob some fags.  

When all them wetbacks get shipped out, 

I'm gonna stand up and shout

When the rich people don't have to pay their bills,

They'll help us all cause they're having thrills. 

I know I'll get go be Trump's friend.

He's going to love me in the end.

I'll go vote ten or twelve times.

I'll spend election day standing in line.  

When Trump wins this election for the third time, 

He'll take back the country and treat us fine.

He's my hero.  He's my friend.

He'll put all things right in the end.

I had a dream the other night.

We were all in a great big fight.

I was the first through the Capitol door.

I was the first to shit in the floor.

I was the one to kidnap Pence.

I helped push him into an electric fence.

He lit up like the Fourth of July.

I saw sparks come out of his eye.  

Then we got all the Democrats, 

Even Jamie Raskin wearing his spats.  

Then we marched across town in our Maga hats, 

Dancing, and smiling, and killing all cats.

It really wasn't the fault of the cats

But they love Democrats and we can't have that.  

When I woke up I was so sad

Because in the dream I never had

Met my hero Trump, my dear God Dad

I wish I could see him, and Arnold Palmer, and me

Playing golf together off really short tees,

On greens as smooth as Trump's bald head

Hid by the wig he keeps under his bed.

In my dream, the last thing he said

Was please buy my Bibles, shoes, and stuff,

If you don't I'll have to play rough.  

Cause I need your money for women and stuff.

Then he left in a great big huff.

And I was crying when I woke up

And felt just like a little whipped pup.

I'll have a better dream tomorrow

Cause Trump is going to fix all my sorrow.

He'll cure my disease, he'll heal my heart.

He'll give me a brand new start.

He'll take me south to his big house.

He'll help me find a whole new spouse.

He'll give me money, friends, and fame.

He'll help me get in a whole new game.

Everything I need, I will receive. 

Because in Trump I do believe.   

 


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