Amazing Press Conference From The White House!

Just a few hours ago in the White House briefing room, the most amazing press conference in the history of the world took place. The White House press secretary released a surprising and exhilirating list of new developments from the ever expanding and limitless brain of "the stable genius" Donald Trump. After a discussion of how the American bombing of three Iranian nuclear development sites had made more progress toward lasting peace for the entire foreseeable history of the world than any other leader ever made, the press secretary stated that this action is guaranteed to be the final action necessary to guarantee that Donald Trump will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. She added that this "peaceful bombing" will be followed by the agreement from Ukrainian President Zelensky that he has realized he "should not continue his war of aggression against Russia and will reccomend that the Ukrainian parlaiment offer a peaceful solution to the crisis which he caused and will also reccomend that Ukraine do as it should have long ago and rejoin the Russian nation". All of this action in the interest of world peace was created by our Supreme Leader Donald Trump. She also discussed other developments which have been made in recent weeks by Donald Trump which will reveal totally that most of the rest of the world "don't know what the fuck they are doing". Those developments included in her discussion listed Donald Trump's highly effective and inspiring attendance at the meeting in Canada of the G7 in which in her words, "He was lauded, praised, congratulated, and cheered by those lesser members of the G7 for his incredible work to advance the world into the full enjoyment of the 21st Century." Then she went on to say that since Donald Trump has secured peace in the Middle East, increased the likelihood that Ukraine will agree with Russia and Putin to end their war of aggression against Russia and they will be simultaneusly readmitted into the Russian nation on the same day that Canada becomes the 51st state of the United States. Her press conference went on to disclose that Donald Trump has "a lot more free time on his hands now since the world is at peace and he is working on other things of great interest to the world." She added that "a lot of the lying media claim that all Mr. Trump does is play golf but what they don't realize is that being on the golf course gives him a lot of time to use his awe inspiring intellect to work on other issues." Shestated that just in the last few days he had been eating a piece of cherry pie just as George Washington, our tenth or twelfth worst president, had eaten cheerry pie so does Donald Trump. "But while Mr. Trump was eating his pie, he found a perfectly round seed in it. And, after firing the White House Chef and sou chef, he thought further on the subject and was reminded of how so many second class math professors at places like Harvard, Yale, MIT, and Notre Dame mistakenly believe that the thing they call Pi doesn't have an end to and think it could have a million digits. What a waste of numbers is what he said. Then he thought some more and figured out that the kind of Pi you can't eat only has four digits after the three. Those four digits, and we don't mean fingers here,are 4547 and that's the end of that." She went on to say that it is a cinch that Donald Trump will become the only person in the world to receive both the Nobel Peace Prize and the Nobel Prize in Mathematics. When one of the left wing sissy reporters from CBS reminded the press secretary that there is no Nobel Prize in Mathematics, she said "There will be one now because Donald Trump has straightened out this mess about the kind of Pi you can't eat which has been going on unstopped for 1400 years ever since some of those fools like Archimedes and Fig Newton started spreading that lie so they could make money from it." Yes, this is Satire!